For a long, long time,
I thought me holding on
was because I wanted to.
Somehow I’d convinced myself
That it was a “horrible” thing to
Release myself from the hold of the pain.
I feared that I would hurt people if I said something.
I didn’t want anyone mad at me.
Most of my life,
I’d worked to present an image to everyone.
So good, so “perfect”,
That it proved they could like me now.
But if I said something,
That could damage all that work…
Then, one day it clicked.
I say it was from my Father above.
Giving me inspiration to let go. Then I did.
It felt like I was flailing in the air,
Grabbing for something to stop the fall.
I screamed, I cried, I panicked!
I closed my eyes waiting for the inevitable crash to the ground.
But then suddenly, something caught me
And the weight of my fall slowed…
I opened my eyes to see that
I was still moving downward,
Slowly, to a place of stability.
And suddenly, that which seemed “down” to me before
Looked more like Peace.
And then His Wings gently lowered me to the safety of the ground below.
And I felt like I could breathe.
by Erica Russell
