It was hard to see up
From being so far down
I was afraid I’d never climb out of that pit of despair
I’d made a home there
Claiming it as safety when all along
It was a prison
A prison of the enemy’s making
That I was manipulated to believe
Was my only resource
But I am not there anymore!
I am Stronger now.
It was a dreadful place
Because it was isolation,
The perfect companion to the lies the enemy
Told me
The perfect space for him to use others
To take advantage of me
My vulnerabilities…
But I am not there anymore!
I am Stronger now.
No longer will I feel the heaviness of defeat
Screaming, “Lord why won’t anyone listen!
Why won’t anyone see!”
Buried, buried, buried
That’s what I thought my life would
Always be
I thought that was the only way I’d survive
I cried for help in so many ways
But no one seemed to notice or care
Or maybe they did…
But they too didn’t want to face
Or know how to face
The darkness they too were trapped in…
Thank God, the Light flooded through
That dark place I was in
Illuminating all of the lies
Deception,
Falsehood,
And sickness of sexual sin the enemy possessed within those who hurt me sexually
I still cry
No lie
Because it is a sad day
When even the world in government,
Church, on jobs, in households all over
Refuse to acknowledge the severity of the pain
And consequences of innocence when it is taken
From someone
Whether through grooming and manipulation
Whether through threat of physical pain or use of emotional pain
Or by unimaginable force…
It is wrong and shouldn’t be protected no matter who it is…
If you are reading this
And you are in search of strength
You are not alone
But there is hope
I know from experience that there is hope and light,
Because I am not overcome by the darkness anymore.
I am Stronger now.
Not by my might, not by my strength, nor my ability…
It was God…God is why I am still here, able to speak, able to learn how to love again, able to know how to walk in the beauty of who I am…only HIM.
by Erica Russell
